wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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