Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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