If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
this is an emotional support booty call
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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