Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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