Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she pinky promised me she was 18
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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