Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
