If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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