Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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