you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
