I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize