If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm really busy with my period
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