I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
PANTIES FOUND
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