He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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