Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
