is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
