so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
