There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
