You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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