I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
