they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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