Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
