And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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