4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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