theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You took a bar mat shot.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
