i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
