like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
