Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
