Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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