I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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