he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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