Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
