Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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