I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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