drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
