Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i've created a new STD.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
