If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
