My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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