will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
