Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
