Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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