He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
too bad you live with your parents still
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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