Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
