I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
