yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
