you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
