Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
