Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
