hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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