Im at strip club and am horny
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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