Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
